This is in reference to request for thoughts on Remembering 9/11. Enclosed is a letter I wrote to Judy, when I realized that I could note send her a birthday card in July 2002.
At the time my heart was broken and I seemed to be in a fog - did it really happen? - it seemed to be a bad dream.
I can see clearer now and have grown very bitter. Only one man has been convicted and he was in jail on 9/11. I feel that someone should be held accountable, someone let US down. The truth has been hidden and is yet to come out. It eats at my guts daily and I cry.
Wish I had something upbeat to write, but in all honesty this is how I feel.
Sincerely,
Ruth Lillie
In memory of Judy Jones who was killed on Sept. 11, 2001, at the Pentagon:
Dear Judy:
When you were born, I thought you were the prettiest baby I had ever seen. I don't have to go into detail, as I have pictures to prove it. You had big, blue eyes and blond hair.
When you were 7 years old, I moved in with you and your family. What good times we had. I taught you to swim and you were good.
When I was teaching Sunday School, I worked so hard on the lessons. At the end of class I reviewed the lessons and ask question. You never answered, but on the way home in the car, I repeated the questions and you knew every one. You were shy and did not have to show off in class, did you?
There was never anything phony about you. You did not talk a lot, but when you did, I could always depend on your honesty. You had deep feelings and compassion for people and their problems. You could quickly tell the difference between a real need and a fake. In other words - you had class! I can't remember you ever getting excited about anything, except this one time. I gave you a flag that would attach to your baton. You really smiled and your big blue eyes sparkled.
When I got married and left your home, you were 14 years old. However, we kept in touch and there is a bond between us. I can remember typing your SF 171 so that you could get a job with the Government. What can I say? When we moved to North Carolina, I remember our goodbyes. You said that I had been a big influence in your life. I did not know that you had been watching.
On Sept. 11, when I finally reached your message machine, I ask that you give us a call - I was praying you were tied up in traffic - but no call came.
On Sept. 12th at 2:30 AM while I was watching TV, I got so cold, I begin to shake and my teeth were chattering. I thought I would have to go to the Emergency Room. It lasted about 10 minutes and then I got real warm and it seems a peace came over me. Was that you, Judy, telling me goodbye?
It has been so sad since you left. Do you remember the song we used to sing at Camp Highroad Methodist Camp? It was "Kum By Yay, my Lord." Last week we sang it at church and so many memories came back to me, I had to leave. In a poem we shared, If I should leave you, it asks us not to grieve or be sad. I try real hard, but it is so hard not to be able to wish you Happy Birthday this year. You would have been 54 years old and could have retired next year. I do try to laugh and talk as is stated in our poem, but my heart is broken and I hurt.
Someone's crying, Lord, Kum By Yah.
Aunt Ruth